Perpetually single; continuously happy

 I've always hated Valentine's Day.

It's probably a mix of the commercialism, the cultural pressure to be paired off with someone, and the awful coupling of pink and red together. Anyhow, when I lived in Arizona, I used to give out handmade Happy Statehood Day cards instead of Valentines (Arizona was officially admitted into the union on February 14, 1912). It was my way of protesting the stupid holiday (and still expressing the fondness I had for my peers).

From the time that I got my first boyfriend when I was fifteen years old until my accident when I was nineteen, I was almost always dating someone. In fact, the longest time I went without kissing a boy during that time was eleven days (minus a thirty day stretch in which I was grounded from my boyfriend LOL). I have fallen in love, and I'm so grateful that I have had that experience, which has been a formative event in the development of my character. When I was able-bodied, boys were very interested in me. I may have dated a lot, but the guy I fell in love with was the only one I was very interested in. Unfortunately, that relationship ended.

Now that I am paralyzed, I haven't had much luck in the love department, to say the least. I mean, I have been interested in a handful of guys over the years, but I didn't want to want them unless they wanted me. And none of them ever did. So nothing ever happened.

In a way, this is a somewhat sad story. I have been perpetually single for 24 years. Never married. Never having a family of my own. Missing out on that special intimate relationship.

I could sit around all day every day and be devastated about it. But I have never valued myself in terms of who I am with. I have always valued myself in terms of who I am. And who am I? I'm lovely. I'm fun. I'm interesting. I'm smart. I'm kind, compassionate, thoughtful, and imaginative.

I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. And I love love, and I love romantic love; I think it is spectacular. But you know what else is spectacular? Knowing and loving who you are! I would rather, 100,000%, know and love myself and be "alone," than be in a relationship and not know who I am or love who I am.

I don't think it's sad to be single. Not if you know who you are and are happy with yourself. And if you're not happy with yourself when you're single, being with someone else is not going to cure that. It's probably going to make it worse. How can you ask someone to love you when you don't? How can you ask someone else to know you when you don't even know who you are? I think it's imperative to know and love yourself. I do, and I am happy every single day. 

I know this holiday can suck for those of us who are single, but it doesn't have to. We can rejoice in who we are. And we can especially love the fact that we are not controlled by some super commercialized holiday probably invented by greeting card companies to make more money. And if you love Valentine's Day and spending it with your sweetheart, I am truly happy for you. I definitely do not mean you ill will if you are in a relationship and find meaning in that. However, there are lots of people like me who are not in a relationship, but we don't have to feel sad about that. We can love who we are even on this holiday that might intentionally/unintentionally ostracize us singles.

If you're a single person, I wish that you wouldn't be sad today. I truly do not think that your relationship status is indicative of the kind of person that you are. Please love you. If you're having trouble doing that, I'd love to help you out. Message me, give me a comment, and I will tell you all the wonderful things about you that you should feel happy about! I truly and sincerely mean this! Please take me up on my offer if you need to! I love you! Happy Arizona Statehood Day!